Can you let your thoughts play like a radio in the background or float like a leaf on a stream sometimes when you're caring for a baby or toddler?

Try letting your thoughts play like a radio in the background

This is my favourite way of living with unhelpful thoughts. I let all those unhelpful or upsetting thoughts play in the background of my mind like a radio. They are still there. I can't get rid of them. I've learnt that it doesn't help to try to get rid of them. They play like a radio in the background but no longer control how I behave.

When you're exhausted and facing sleep challenges with a baby or toddler, you can expect that your brain will come up with a lot of unhelpful thoughts. Sometimes these thoughts will be very loud. But you can let them play in the background, sometimes more loudly than at other times, and nevertheless take the steps to lead the life you want to create with your small child, doing the things that matter.

The thoughts are still there, but they are not controlling your behaviours or your life.

Try letting your thoughts float like leaves on a stream

You might find it helpful to imagine that you're placing your thoughts on a leaf that is floating on the surface of a stream or creek.

This is not with the intention of trying to get rid of the thoughts by watching them float away - unfortunately, trying to get rid of thoughts even in this way can make them larger and more problematic.

It's just a quiet distancing - ah, the thought is there, resting on that leaf on the surface of the creek, which moves slightly with the eddy of the water or with the current. I can leave my thought there and it doesn't need to affect how I go about my day or night.

Acknowledgements

I'm grateful to perinatal psychologist Narelle Dickenson and her psychology students at Lotus Health and Psychology, Brisbane, for creating the video above.

Recommended resources

Radio Doom & Gloom. Dr Russ Harris

Leaves in a stream. Dr Jennifer Andrews

The five mindfulness myths. Dr Russ Harris

Recommended resources, acknowledgements, and selected references for the articles in the Caring for you section of The Possums Sleep Program are found here, including selected research evaluations of both Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Compassion-focused Therapy in the perinatal period.