How to balance the three pressure points when you are resetting your toddler's body clock

What are the three pressure points?

If your toddler has disrupted sleep patterns with excessive night waking, you can reset her body clock to make sleep more manageable. This takes one or two weeks. There are three pressure points we work with to reset your toddler's body clock.

Here, I give an overview of how to balance these pressure points. For detailed information, click on the links.

• Pressure point #1. Have your toddler start the day earlier.

• Pressure point #2. Change what you've been doing with daytime naps.

• Pressure point #3. Gradually push your toddler's evening bed-time back later.

Which pressure points are likely to help in your situation?

Some families like to work with the three pressure points all at once, making gradual changes in each. Often this is the most effective approach. But there may be good reasons why it doesn't suit your family to do this. You might decide to work with just one or two pressure points, only.

For example, your toddler might already start each day very early, or at the earliest possible time you can do it, so there is no room for change of this potential pressure point. Or you may be a primary carer who cherishes your opportunity for a break when your little one takes a daytime nap – it helps get you through the day. You don’t want to change daytime naps for that reason, but you have help in the evenings and don’t mind your toddler going to bed a lot later.

How do you start a reset when you're already exhausted and don't have energy to make changes?

It would be normal to feel your heart sink when I suggest working with the three pressure points on your small child's body clock. You’re already so incredibly exhausted! The idea of less daytime naps, later evening bedtimes, and earlier starts to the day sounds downright depressing.

But often by the time parents are looking for help, the sleep deprivation and exhaustion are intense. Although the feeling that you can’t bear to make these changes or the voice in your head which says this can’t possibly work out are quite normal, your current situation might also be unworkable and unsustainable. A great deal of self-compassion is called for. It's also time to call in all the support you can find, as you take courageous steps toward changing your days (and nights), in a way that aligns with your values.

If you don’t experiment with changing at least one of these three pressure points, it’s likely that your little one's fragmented sleep pattern will persist. It's often best to experiment with applying pressure to two or even the whole three pressure points for the best and quickest results – but that will depend on your family’s unique situation. Could you work out what changes are doable and experiment with something new for two weeks, then review and see how you are going? You could make a decision then about whether or not to continue.

When you're doing a reset by working with the three pressure points, it’s also helpful to

• Bring in just as much rich sensory motor nourishment as you possibly can during the day and in the evenings. This keeps your toddler dialled down while you are making changes over these couple of weeks, repeatedly nudging the sleep pressure that bit higher

• Practice self-compassion, day and night

• Make the changes slowly, over a couple of weeks. Otherwise, the daytimes and evenings might become too difficult to manage.

I mostly find that by the end of two weeks, parents who’ve been enduring their toddler's excessive night waking can’t believe the transformation to their quality of life.