Does it help with baby's sleep to delay or space out breastfeeding in the night?

Does your baby seem to be breastfeeding all night? The sleep deprivation can be unbearable. Are you wondering if spacing out the breastfeeds might help? You could even be experimenting with this right now, trying not to offer the breast every time baby wakes, hoping desperately to make the nights work better. You might even be wondering if you should wean.

It can be helpful to know that

• The latest research tells us breastfeeding women (who feed each time baby wakes) sleep as much as or more than formula-feeding parents

• Excessive night waking is different to biologically normal baby night waking. A pattern of excessive night waking is usually caused by disruptions to your baby's circadian or body clock settings. It's not caused by the breastfeeding (once you're sure your baby is getting enough milk)

• Your baby isn't waking excessively in the night because you breastfeed her frequently and flexibly. But she has learnt that when she wakes, the most lovely way to go back to sleep is with the breast. This is not a bad habit - it's a gift you've given her!

• A reset of your baby's body clock is required. If you work through The Possums Sleep Program, I would expect your baby to return to developmentally normal, more manageable night waking within a couple of weeks

• Instead of receiving help for the true underlying problem with your baby's body clock settings, you might receive a lot of conflicting advice when your breastfeeding baby wakes excessively at nights. This advice, which I look at in the table below, doesn't make things better and can even make sleep worse for you and your family.

If your baby is a newborn or still very young, excessive night waking can be due to hunger. You can find out about this here.

You might have made a decision to wean your baby in the night. You can find out about making this decision here. You might be thinking you'll wean your baby at night gradually, by offering the breast only when baby seems to need it. We are constantly shaping our little ones' behaviours, checking out what they seem able to cope with, what they're not ready for yet. The older the breastfed child, the more the breastfeeding mother may already be waiting a little in the night to see if a feed is really necessary. You know your little one best.

But delaying offers of the breast, or only offering the breast on every second wake in the night, can make sleep worse. Here's why.

Common advice about breastfeeding and night-time sleep	Why this advice doesn't help
Your baby can't be hungry, because she has just fed.	In the Possums or NDC programs, a baby's biological needs are thought of as having two categories, the need for milk and the need for richer sensory motor experience (which in the night means sucking and cuddles). In the night, a breastfeed meets both needs. Your baby has learnt the good habit of trusting that you will respond to her. If she is waking excessively as a pattern, then the real problem is her body clock settings, not the breastfeeding.
Your baby is using you as a dummy or pacifier.	It can definitely feel as if your baby is using you as a dummy or pacifier and breastfeeding all night, if he's waking excessively. He dials up when he wakes, wanting the sensory motor comfort of suckling in the night since his sleep pressure isn't very high and he can't get back into a block of deeper sleep. However, the real problem is his body clock settings, not the breastfeeding. This situation requires a body clock reset. Once the two sleep regulators are in sync, breastfeeding back to sleep makes life with baby as easy as possible, because feeds keep baby dialled down when she has normal night waking.
Your baby wakes so much at nights because she has developed the bad habit of having a breastfeed whenever she wants it. You have made a rod for your own back.	As in the box above.
You need to stop responding to her grizzles and cries in the night with a breastfeed. Try soothing her with patting or shushing or a cuddle.	Delaying your responses, or responding but not in the way you know your baby really wants, is a form of graduated extinction, also known as sleep training. Sometimes people call very gradual extinction methods 'gentle and responsive', but they are still on the spectrum of sleep training approaches. Delaying responses can result in baby dialling up quickly as soon as he wakes, because he doesn't know if or when he might receive a cuddle and breastfeed. Waking becomes habitually linked with feeling upset. That is, baby might develop a conditioned dialling up, associated with waking in the night. Parents often describe this as the baby waking and going "straight from 0 to 100 ".
Only offer the breast every second time she wakes. Otherwise soothe her with patting or shushing or a cuddle.	As in the box above.
Only offer the breast at certain times in the night, for example, at midnight and at three o'clock in the morning. Otherwise soothe her with patting or shushing or a cuddle.	As in the box above.
Offer the breast when she wakes, but then take the breast and nipple out of her mouth as soon as she seems to be drowsy, so that she learns to go to sleep without suckling on the breast.	As in the box above.
Delay for as long as you can, and only offer her the breast if she really won't settle. Try to soothe her first with calling out, or patting, or shushing, or a cuddle.	As in the box above.
Consider weaning, as she no longer needs milk in the night.	Women breastfeed their baby back to sleep in the night for many reasons. As the baby grows into the second half of the first year of life, or into toddlerhood or even into the preschool years, the amount of milk the child receives in the night is less and less important. But breastfeeding can make the nights easiest. Every breastfeeding woman makes her own decision about what's right for her, her child, and her family.